By Scott Stump - Senior Editor
*Those looking to donate or particpate in the 5-mile walk/run on April 20 at Raritan, sponsored by the Rockets' softball team, to raise money for Raritan graduate Stephanie Coonan and her battle with cancer can either click here for more information, click here to register or donate, or click on the file attachment at the bottom of the story for the forms.*
*Photos provided by Raritan softball coach Janet Citro.*
On Opening Day of Raritan's softball season this year, Stephanie Coonan stood in the middle of a circle of players on her old field, delivering a pre-game pep talk as tears streamed down the faces of many of the girls.
"I cried, and I don't cry,'' said Raritan senior shortstop Sheila Sim. "I met her for the first time at our first game, and she had an impact on me.''
A magnet in a sea of green and white, Coonan mustered her scant energy to exhort the team.
See what's in front of you. See the ball. Hit the ball. Don't be scared. Flash back to October of 2007, when Coonan's parents and her doctor huddled at Riverview Medical Center in Red Bank, wondering what to tell the now 23-year-old former Raritan outfielder when she finally awoke to a nightmare. They decided to hit her with the brutal truth, knowing that she would never trust them in the future if they spoonfed her lies or a vague version of the facts.
Her stomach was gone, removed by the doctors after being ravaged by cancer that had also spread to her esophagus.
The fight against the cancer trying to take her life was going to be an arduous one, but she needed to know. At this point, she didn't even have an inkling of what was wrong at all. She had passed out without warning at her home and now was waking up to something that only happens to people in those doctor dramas on television, not girls in the prime of their youth.
Hit with the news, she didn't blink.
She kept her eyes on what was in front of her.
Don't be scared. The girl who once had Raritan's infielders doubled over in laughter back in 2003 as she stood with her sliding shorts showing and her sweatpants at her ankles to break up the monotony of a drill in practice had tubes seemingly coming out of everywhere and machines beeping ceaselessly, yet she refused to be overwhelmed by the severity of the diagnosis. The girl who once showed up to the senior prom toting a pedestrian crossing sign with a balloon attached to it as her date when her baseball-playing boyfriend was running late from a state playoff game was now keeping everyone in the else in the hospital room at ease when they thought she would be the one who would need the consoling.
"The first words out of her mouth were, 'How am I going to get my nutrition?'' said Raritan softball coach Janet Citro. "Not, 'How am I going to eat? Not 'Why did this happen to me?' It was, 'What are you going to do to keep me alive?' She's just that kind of remarkable kid."
Coonan was about to be reminded that she also happens to be a kid in a family much bigger than her immediate one - the Raritan softball family.
The beginning Coonan had experienced migraine headaches since she was 12 years old, and just when they seemed to be dissipating, she was in a car accident in March of 2007 that caused their return. That also meant a return to the medication she needed to keep them at bay.
Soon she began losing weight, initially blaming it on the medication, and eventually dropping out of The College of New Jersey because of the severity of the migraines. She went back to TCNJ in the fall, but one day in October, her mother and father were running late for work and were fortunately still home when Stephanie went unconscious on the bathroom floor. They rushed her to Riverview, where they were hit with a hurricane-force diagnosis.
"They said to her parents, 'Your daughter needs surgery because she has some kind of stomach obstruction,''' Citro said. "If we do the surgery, she might not make it. If we don't do the surgery, she will die.''
Coonan's stomach was removed on a Wednesday, and by Thursday, Citro, who hadn't seen Coonan in about a year, received a call from another former player in tears about the situation.
"I got her settled down, and then I was in shock,'' Citro said.
By Sunday, Citro went to visit her at Riverview.
"I said, 'OK, Janet, be cool,''' Citro said. "I thought, 'How do I greet her?' I can't hug her. So I kissed her on the forehead and said, 'You had to do this for me to come see you?"
Coonan laughed with the little energy she had and then typed out a note that Citro has tacked to her refrigerator. That day, the note eventually unleashed the tears once Citro was in the parking lot on her way out of the hospital. It thanked her old coach for taking the time to come see her.
Banding together While her family was still reeling from the rapid sequence of life-altering events, more factors intervened that made Citro and the Rockets spring into immediate action.
Stephanie was turning 23 on Nov. 18 and would be dropped from her parents' insurance, and she was no longer a full-time student at TCNJ. Her mother had left her job as a teacher in Keansburg to be by her side, and her father had used up all of his vacation time to be with his daughter. He works in the Motion Picture and Theatrical Division of the Teamsters, but when he was ready to go back to work in early November, a cruel twist of fate intervened. The Writers Guild of America was going on strike starting Nov. 5, 2007, and the Teamsters were going to honor the strike in solidarity with the writers.
"They had no money coming in, and whatever they had saved was going to be depleted,'' Citro said.
It was going to cost $1,000 a month to keep Stephanie covered under her father's insurance plan. That's when her extended family - Citro and her team as well as the Hazlet community - came together for one of its own.
Citro turned a twenty-third birthday party for Coonan into a benefit, and a few weeks later, another fund-raiser was held at Steak Exchange in Hazlet. That was followed by a benefit concert at Raritan, and a mega 50-50 organized by the dance team that dance team director Robin Beaudry ended up winning and donating back to the cause to the total tune of nearly $12,000. Checks were pouring in from a variey of sources. Coonan's father went back to work after the strike ended on Feb. 12, which certainly helped as well.
"All of these little things have helped,'' Citro said. "We have insurance paid for two years along with money for incidentals.''
"We are at a loss for words for the kind gestures and donations that have been made by our community,'' Coonan wrote in an e-mail from her bed at Memoral Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City, where she is recovering from a recent procedure.
The latest fund-raiser for Coonan will be held this Sunday, with the team sponsoring a 5-mile walk/run at Raritan High School that will also feature music, concessions and a T-shirt sale.
It is the latest reminder that just because you graduate, it doesn't mean you aren't still a member of the family.
"They're always a part of it,'' said Citro, who is the longest-tenured coach in the Shore Conference in her 31st season. "How do you coach kids and dismiss them? We're a family. We'll disagree and fight sometimes, but when something comes up, we have to be there for one another.''
Opening Day Before she had to go back into the hospital for a series of procedures that the doctors hope will be able to prepare her for a 15-hour surgery to attach her esophagus to her colon, Coonan could be seen in attendance at the Rockets' softball games, taking a break from the treatments and the machines to breathe the crisp air and watch the game she has loved since she was a 5-year-old playing T-ball.
In a moment that had everyone dealing with a lump in their throat, she threw out the ceremonial first pitch before Raritan's first game against Long Branch after giving that pre-game pep talk.
"If you see her, you're like, 'There's no way she went through all of that,'' Sim said. "Everything she went through made me think of how lucky I am.''
"Associating with the team has allowed me to reflect upon my past experiences while playing for Raritan,'' Coonan wrote. "Not only has coach Citro helped with fund-raising, but she has become an outstanding emotional support for myself and my family since I was diagnosed and continues to do so on a daily basis.
"I now look at Ms. 'Cit' as my 'Angel in the Outfield,' the position I played while under her wing. Some of my greatest lessons have been learned on the softball diamond, and I hope to instill these qualities upon my team.''
That choice of words tells you all you need to know about the bond that does not dissolve upon graduation.
My team. The team that plays with Stephanie as its inspiration, the team that stunned traditional power St. John Vianney in extra innings on Tuesday for its first win over the Lancers since the early 1990s. The team that didn't know how to act around Stephanie at first before it realized she was one of them.
"We were scared at the first game because we were like, 'What do we say to her?" Sim said.
Coonan showed up for another game, cheering on the team she once captained back in 2003, giving another pep talk.
Don't be scared. "She came to another game, and we were like, 'Hey Stephanie,' like she was playing in the game,'' Sim said. "She really gets into it.''
Even from a hospital bed, Stephanie is keeping her eyes on the ball, still focused on what is in front of her, just like always.
"Throwing the first pitch of the season meant a great deal to me,'' Stephanie wrote. "I remain upbeat by focusing on graduating, attending grad school, becoming an international diplomat and traveling the world.''
As she moves forward in her quest to beat cancer and pursue her dreams, knowing that her Raritan softball family and the Hazlet community has her back through the hard times and unforeseen calamities has only re-inforced a message that Stephanie knew all along.
Don't be scared.
E-mail: stump@digitalsports.com