When several relatives perished in a house fire last spring, Loyola assistant coach, John Wineberg, was both overwhelmed and comforted by the unconditional support he and family members received from the Dons' wrestling community.
"The home of my cousin, JD -- Doug Jr. --had caught on fire during the
night while he was at work, and his wife and all but two of his
children died. There were a total of 10 people in the fire," Wineberg said. "I remember thinking and wondering 'How is JD handling everything?' I
mean, can you think of anything worse ever happening to a father or
husband?'"
But families of current Loyola wrestlers, along with those of alumni wrestlers, soon assisted. They arranged for "a van that pulled up and dropped off food and drinks that would last for days," Wineberg said.
In addition, the father and 84-year-old grandmother of one of Loyola's star wrestlers drove five hours to attend the relatives' funeral.
"I want to tell you about the sincere concern and beautiful kindness displayed by the Loyola wrestling community toward my family and me in those trying days," Wineberg said.
Below,
Wineberg tells a heart-warming saga and expresses his gratitude to
those who comforted his family in the wake of
tradgey.
by John Wineberg
Loyola Assistant Wrestling Coach
As told to DigitalSports
It was a warm beautiful April morning when I received a phone call from my younger sister Charlene who lives about an hour and a half North of Pittsburgh. Right away I knew something was wrong, because she doesn't call too often, and never when she's at work.
I answered my cell and didn't say "Hello", I said, "What's wrong?" With her voice cracking she said, "Oh John, it's not good." My mind raced to my grandmother -- who is in her 80s -- my parents, my brother. I couldn’t imagine what Charlene was about to tell me.
She informed me that the home of my cousin, JD -- Doug Jr. --had caught on fire during the night while he was at work, and that his wife and all but two of his children died. There were a total of 10 people in the fire.
Obviously, I was stunned.
I was in the middle of a parking lot as she told me the details as she knew them to be. I had to sit down right there and listen to her as cars passed by me. I didn't know what to say, what questions to ask, or how to react.
It's amazing how the mind works when something like this happens. I managed to ask about my mother, aunts, and other family members to see how they were doing. Charlene and my mother were actually on their way to the local mall to pick up some clothes for the two surviving children and JD.
They had nothing left.
I told my sister that I'd be home in about four or five hours. I left the parking lot and drove straight to my apartment. My mind was racing. I had to make some phone calls. I needed someone to cover my club wrestling practices while I was away.
I talked to Steve Truitt, the head coach at Loyola, and Chris Schuster, a parent of one of my wrestlers. I explained what had happened back home and they assured me that things would be taken care of back here in Maryland.
While I was home packing my sister called me back and told me to turn on CNN. I did, and there was my Uncle Doug, JD's father, talking to reporters.
There was the burned out home. There was my hometown of 2,200 people. I saw people whom I grew up with being interviewed on CNN.
How surreal.
I finished packing and was on my way. I remember feeling kind of numb during my trip back. I remember thinking and wondering, "How is J.D. handling everything?" I mean, can you think of anything worse ever happening to a father or husband?
I really would rather not go into all the details of the days that followed. It was just the saddest thing anyone could imagine. This isn't a story about me. It's not about my family. It's not about tragedy.
I wanted this story to be about the kindness and thoughtfulness of others. I want to tell you about the sincere concern and beautiful kindness displayed by the Loyola wrestling community toward my family and me in those trying days.
Somehow the parents of Loyola wrestling alumni managed to find the phone number of the only grocery store in my hometown. This is a store which does not cater or deliver food.
A particular parent managed to get the manager on the phone. The parent explained who she was, and what she wanted to do. The manager of the store obviously knew about the fire and knew where my mother lived.
So, about 20 minutes after I arrived at my mother's door, a van pulled up and dropped off food and drinks that would last for days. I was curious about where all the food was coming from, but just assumed that the owner or manager of the store was making a donation to the family.
I was wrong.
Families of current Loyola wrestlers along with those of alumni wrestlers had arranged all of this. I won't mention their names, because I know that they would be embarrassed.
Also, somehow, many of the wrestling parents had figured out what my mother's address is, as well as what my is address back here in Maryland.
The number of cards and well-wishes that were received was amazing to me. It's not like they could just take a second out of their day to do this. This had to have taken a great deal of effort.
Finally, and most amazing to me, I'd like to tell you of the Loyola wrestling father and 84-year-old grandmother who drove over four hours and then stood in line for the viewing.
Another three Loyola faithful also came to pay their respects.
The viewing for all of the deceased was held in the auditorium of the high school from which I graduated.
Over a period of two days, as I was informed by the chief of police and fire marshall, between six and eight thousand people came to pay their respects.
I know I shook a lot of hands, and hugged many old friends and family whom I haven't seen in years. I had the chance to catch up with many of them. Thank goodness most of them wanted to talk about wrestling.
They asked how the team was doing, and if we were going to do well this season. They asked about particular wrestlers and, most importantly in Pennsylvania, were we going to have any state champs or placewinners.
I can’t even begin to tell you how talking about wrestling with all those people helped me get through those days.
On the second day of the viewings, I had to take a break from it all and get some fresh air.
I walked around the back of the stage of the auditorium to the side parking lot where many of the firemen, local news, and national news workers were just kind of hanging out. I spoke with a few of them, caught up with a couple friends. Then I saw my mother leave the auditorium from the same door I had walked through. I thought she just needed some fresh air too. But I could see that she was looking at the line of people which snaked from the school, through a parking lot and into the nearby neighborhood.
My mother was looking at one specific spot in line. I walked over to her and asked what she was doing. She just kind of smiled and said, "Look in the line right there."
My eyes followed hers to a spot in line where two members of the Loyola wrestling family were standing. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
My first thought was “How in the world did Chris Schuster and his 84-year-old mother, Virginia, find this place? It’s in the middle of nowhere!" My second thought was "These people are simply too kind!"
What a sincere, truly loving gesture. God has graced me by putting these people in my life.
I walked over to them and hugged Grandma Schuster and shook Chris' hand. I had a million questions for them, but most importantly, I wanted to get them inside through the back door because I knew that they had taken at least a four-hour trip. It had to be five-and-a-half hours with Chris driving.
I dragged them out of the line and walked them through the back door of the auditorium. I took the Schusters to the front of the line and introduced them to a few family members.
Chris and his mother met and talked with the JD and his brother, Eric. They walked from casket to casket saying prayers and paying their respects.
While Chris and his mother were doing this, a few of my family members came to ask me who "Those people" were whom they saw me talking to. I explained that they were the father and grandmother of Colin Schuster, one of my wrestlers at Loyola.
Their eyes filled with tears as they asked, "They drove all the way here?" When I responded, "Yes," they smiled, began to cry, and simply said, "Wow."
They walked back into the auditorium where the Schusters were sitting.
After Chris and Grandma Schuster had met with some family and paid their respects, I walked them to the cafeteria where the local women’s club had arranged a meal for the family. I knew they had to be hungry. I introduced them to many more of my family members there one by one.
While the Schusters were eating and visiting with my family, I again found myself catching up with an old friend. But I suddenly realized that Grandma Schuster was sitting next to my father, stepfather, and mother.
It looked like they were having a grand conversation. I later found out that my father and Grandma Schuster seem to be on the opposite ends of the political spectrum. I'm guessing that a frew friendly jabs were thrown.
All I could hear was Grandma Schuster -- with her hand on her chest -- saying to my dad, "You're breaking my heart Bob, you're breaking my heart!"
It was a very unique experience, seeing these "strangers" talking like old long, lost friends with my father, stepfather , and mother.
It was a beautiful thing to witness.
After the meal, everyone continued to visit for a while. We all chatted, we laughed a lot, it seemed to me that no one really wanted to walk back to the auditorium.
We had to, of course. But before we did, everyone said their goodbyes to Chris and his mother as I was walking them back to their car.
I found myself at a loss for words. I couldn't find the right ones to thank the Schusters.
Let's be honest: Simply saying thank you wouldn't have been enough. I hugged Grandma Schuster goodbye as she got into the car. I shook Chris' hand, again. I thanked him for his kindness.
Chris started the car up and slowly drove away.
After having time to reflect, I've come to realize and learn that Chris and Grandma Schuster weren't in rural Pennsylvania just to represent their wonderful family. They were also there representing all of the concerned, well-wishers back here in Maryland, and, of course they were representing the Loyola wrestling family.
"Wow!"
I can't explain what the kindness of the Loyola wrestling families meant to my family and me. What beautiful gestures of kindness. I can never thank all those involved enough.
I'm sure that I don't even know who all was involved, but they know who they are, and I'd like to take this opportunity to say, "Thank you."
"Thank you," for the well-wishes.
"Thank you," for bringing smiles to the faces of my family members during such a troubling time.
"Thank you all" for thinking of my family.
God certainly has graced me.
